Forever Gone, Forever You
by Thomagata
Summary: Adopted sequel of until the last rose dies by ShadowedKissed13: I saw you there, I swore I saw you. A ghost on the streets. Watching me. I question my sanity, my past. You always saw the ghosts, now it seems I see them too. Or at least, I think I do.
1. Tighten Your Tie, Boy

**Hello readers. As many of you might know this story was originally the sequel Shadowkissed13's story "Until the Last Rose Dies". Since she was unable to finish the sequel she left it up for adoption which I just couldn't help but adopt. So the first two chapters were originally written by Shadowkissed13, I did no editing with them. They are hers but from chapter 3 and on is my words and plot. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Also, give the story a chance. It may seem very sad and many of may not like how it is so far, but keep reading. I promise you'll like it. ;)**

**Sincerely,**

**Thomagata**

Forever Gone, Forever You  
Chapter One  
ROSE

"Dimitri!" I called, "I need help with this dress!"

I stared at myself in the mirror; the zipper on the dress had reached the unreachable point on my back, which was funny, because I didn't remember it being so low before. The bedroom door opened soundlessly and my husband of four years came in, wearing a slightly exasperated look on his face.

"How can I help you?"

I nodded behind me, "Can you do this zipper up?"

He crossed the room, a slightly amused look replacing the exasperated one. His fingers traced down my back, before reaching the zipper. His fingers grasped the trail of the zipper, and pulled it up, struggling a little when it tightened over the small bump on my abdomen.

"Rose… do you honestly want such a tight dress? Why not wear that purple one you bought a week ago?"

"This dress wasn't tight a month ago." I said, disappointed.

Dimitri slowly turned me around, wrapping his arms around me. "You didn't have such a… small… bump a month ago."

"It's a little less than eight months until I can wear that dress again," I said, glumly. "And even after that, it will probably be more."

"You're not going to come home from the hospital and work out?" Dimitri mocked being horrified. "Rose Belikov, tut, tut."

I laughed, and pulled away. "I'm going to come home to sleepless nights, and three children. People always say that it's worse with three than with two."

"There's one more then the parents." Dimitri pointed out. "Of course there would be. But, on the more comforting side, we have four hands between us; we'll probably be able to cope."

"Aside from the fact that we're half Vampire, and grew up learning how to manage in difficult situations?" I asked, "Or including that?"

"Including, obviously,"

I opened the wardrobe door, and pulled out the purple dress. "Did you mean this one?"

He nodded. "It looks good on you."

I looked at it. "Do you think it can wrinkle easily?"

"No," He looked at me. "Should I even ask why you asked?"

I slipped the dress off. Dimitri watched me curiously.

"It's nothing really," I started, pulling the purple dress over my head. It really was a beauty, it had a slim pencil skirt, and the bodice (is that what you call it?) had a wide, round neckline, and handkerchief style sleeves that hung midway down my upper arm. Black buttons started at the waist, and continued to the top of the neckline. I loved it. "Just Lissa will squeal and hug me when I tell her about the bump."

Dimitri considered this and nodded in agreement. "Wise choice, then, Roza."

I glanced at the clock on the dresser, and nearly shrieked.

"It's four-fifty!" I cried. "Why didn't you get me sooner?"

"I called you about three times. Rosalie and Mason are ready to go, and have been watching _Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman_ for the past half hour,"

"That show brainwashes kids." I muttered, shuddering. "I watched it with Rosalie once. That dog is just creepy."

He shrugged. "He's fat, and has short stubby legs… what's wrong with that?"

"You wouldn't understand." I said, smiling, I grabbed my wallet. "C'mon, let's get the brainwashed children, and go."

I passed him in the doorway; the smell of his aftershave overwhelmed me. Honestly—if it had been up to me at that point, I would have grabbed him and dragged him back into the bedroom. Who cared if our children where brainwashed by a talking dog? I froze up my senses, accurately aware that even after six and a half years of him, and four years of marriage, I should be used to this, but I wasn't, his presence affected me in every way possible, as strongly now as it had when I was seventeen.

He laced his fingers with mine as we walked downstairs. About a year ago, we had moved from our small apartment on the waterfront to a townhouse in the west of the city. It was near a good preschool and a great playground, which is what, mattered to Dimitri and I. Good place for the kids, commutable to his work running the factory, and a nice safe surrounding.

"We have a long time ahead of us, Roza." He said when we had reached the bottom of the stairs. I shouldn't have been surprised that he had caught in my nostalgic mood.

"I know." I looked back up at him. "I love you."

He pressed me against the wall kissing me. He leaned his forehead on mine when we broke apart, after placing a kiss on it.

"I love you too, Mrs. Belikova."

He kissed me again, and I happily settled into the movement of his lips against mine, it was so familiar, and addicting. Sighing, I broke away,

"We need to go." I said,

He sighed. "I know you're right… we will… later."

"Later." I agreed.

He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. "If only later was now."

I laughed, and pulled him into the living room behind me. Rosalie poked Mason, who didn't really respond. I shot Dimitri a confused look, and walked into the room, scooping Mason up.

"Hey Mase, are you OK?"

He nodded. "Tired,"

I rested my cheek against his forehead, he didn't appear to be burning up, so I decided to believe his assessment of being tired. He might be coming down with something, and it vaguely touched my thoughts to have him stay home with Dimitri, but then again, he would sleep in the car undoubtedly and probably be reasonably OK by the time we arrived. I turned to Dimitri, who—upon her demand—had picked up Rosalie.

"He'll be alright, c'mon, we need to get in the car."

Dimitri gave me a speculative look, but accepted my decision. We walked outside to the car, and minutes later, we where speeding towards the edge of the city. Across the seat, Dimitri took my hand in his; I could tell he was as happy as I was with our life. The past four years had been a sort of heaven. Lissa and Christian had finished their education at collage, and now lived together in a townhouse like thing at court. I'd suggested multiple times to Dimitri that we should do the same, but, we were far too happy to be asked to move.

We probably would move, when Lissa became Queen, and Dimitri and I became her Guardians, which was probably at least six years away. The children would be going to the Academy soon. I didn't really like the idea of them away from home at such a young age, but it was safest with them in a place with wards. It was amazing how much I worried about Strigoi attacks. I always felt safer when I was at court. I knew there was loads of Guardians, who would protect the royal families. My children would be safe. I stroked my stomach idly.

RdRdRdRdR

We arrived at court late that afternoon. We stopped at the gates, and Dimitri spoke with the guards who verified that we weren't Strigoi about to go off on a killing spree. We drove in, and passed the condos, where the non royals like Mia (with Adrian, surprisingly) lived.

Adrian and Mia, how to start there? They were made for each other; they completed each other perfectly. They had been married the year before. Mia had everything she had ever wanted, and amazing husband, and she was royal. It really had surprised me that Mia hadn't wanted to live in the center of Moroi Nobility. But, no, she had wanted to stay in the non royal, party part, and raise their three month old daughter, Alyssa there. I wasn't entirely sure if it had been a shotgun wedding, or if they hadn't simply wanted to wait to have kids. Plus, did it matter? No.

Dimitri had reached the fancier part of Court. Flowered gardens, and fancy townhouses passed by out the window. I turned around to check on the kids; Rosalie was holding her favourtie Barbie doll, and gazing out the window, in awe of the houses. Mason was leaning against his car seat, asleep. He looked pale.

"Dimitri?" I asked.

"Hmm…?"

"Do you think Mason is OK?"

He glanced in the rearview mirror, "He's probably coming down with a cold. Poor little guy."

"Should we have actually taken him out today?"

He nodded. "Its fine, Roza. He's not feeling that well, he can rest on the sofa if he wants to. It's not like we're asking him to run a marathon."

"You're right." I sighed. "I only worry."

He placed his hand over mine. "You're his Mother, Roza; it's in your instinct to worry."

I nodded, and Dimitri turned his attention back to the road. Five minutes later, he pulled into a parking space in front of Lissa and Christian's house. I stayed in the car when he got out.

"Are you, OK, Roza?" He murmured, leaning across the seat.

I placed a hand on my stomach. "I always get tired easily when I'm pregnant."

He nodded, leaning forward, he kissed my forehead. "I think I'll have to put you to sleep on their couch too."

I laughed, and got out of the car, and started un-strapping Mason. He woke slightly, and I pulled him into my arms, balancing him on my hip. Dimitri came around the side of the car, holding Rosalie's hand. I smiled; she was such a Daddy's Girl. We walked up the stairs, and the door was flung open, and Lissa stood there, her silvery blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, she wore blue spaghetti strap dress.

"Hey, Liss," I said, smiling, giving her an awkward one armed hug.

"Rose!" She said, smiling, "I've missed you."

"I saw you two weeks ago."

"I know, I miss you both, and your children." She looked at Mason, sleeping against my shoulder, "He is so sweet."

Rosalie, always a little shy when we saw people—even if she knew them, she hid behind Dimitri's leg, peering out at Lissa, who noticed this, and smiled warmly.

"Hello, Rosalie," She said, kneeling to her level. Dimitri smiled, and turned around to look at her.

"Hi aunty Lissa…" She said shyly.

"Who do you have there?"

"My favourtie Barbie," She said,

"Does she have a name?"

"Rachel."

"Hello, Rachel." Lissa, said, smiling, "She's pretty."

"Thanks," She smiled, Dimitri picked her up. Lissa's gaze rested on the two of them.

"She does look so much like you."

He looked down at her. "She does, doesn't she?"

"Definitely your daughter."

Christian showed up behind Lissa, and put his arm around her, resting his hand on her hip.

"Hello," He said, smiling.

"We can have children, can't we, Christian?"

He inspected Rosalie and Mason. "And we'll name our daughter Rose, and you wished."

She smiled, and wrapped her arm around him. "Come in, all of you, come in."

I walked in, followed by Dimitri and Rosalie. We walked into their living room, it was an elegant room, over the fireplace was the Ozera Crest on a shield—a sword facing down, with a vine wrapping around it—and in the corner of the room, was a vase, with the Dragomir crest. The house—as I'd found, under Lissa's order, possessed large crests of all the Royal families. She wanted the public to believe what she cared out—the families, fairness for all, and hope.

"That crest is just so cool." I commented.

Lissa laughed. "To think, that when Tatiana dies, it will be the national Royal Moroi Symbol. Not only a family's symbol."

I smiled. "Your parents would be proud, Liss."

She smiled, thinking of them. "I miss them, but, I cannot repay Tatiana enough. I'm Heir to the throne…."

I laughed. "Of course you are, Lissa! You are going to make an amazing ruler."

She would be married to Christian when she became Queen, despite the fact that he wouldn't be the oldest Ozera, being married to the Queen would give him the title Prince Ozera. Both families would become powerful rulers again, and many agreed that this marriage along with giving Christian the most important place in his family—would shine light on the shadow that had been cast over the Ozera family. The Ozera's and Dragomir's would become the most powerful rulers. Just as it had been thousands of years ago. Many Dragomir and Ozera Kings and Queens had ruled with grace, and dignity. Plus, it would get Lissa a place on the Quorum, making it complete for the first time in ten years.

She smiled. "It's still awhile to wait…."

"I dunno, maybe Tatiana will drop dead."

Dimitri looked disapprovingly at me, fondness in his eyes. I knew he hadn't forgotten the last time we had met with the Queen—I had been pregnant with Rosalie at the time, and insulted her Majesty greatly. She had not called on us again—much to my great surprise.

"Rose!" Lissa was laughing, "Don't say such things!"

There was a knock on the door, Christian looked up. "Come in."

Their, I guess, butler came in. "Dinner is served, your highnesses."

Christian stood, Lissa with him, we followed their butler, a Guardian, Robert Egster—into the dining hall, which now had the Voda crest over the fireplace. Dimitri's own Father was a Voda, a terrible man, who had beaten his Mother—Olena Belikova—senseless, until Dimitri himself had beaten the Moroi up, and thrown him out of the house. Over the years I had heard a little more about Lord Lawrence Voda, he had married Lady Florence Tarus, a year after leaving Russia, and now had three Moroi snobs walking the world. I had heard Moroi talking about them in parties Lissa had dragged me and Dimitri too; the family was hated with passion. It made me smug, and a little sad, that someone related to my Dimitri could be so horrible. The family, as we'd last heard, had been exiled by her Majesty to an estate in the North of Scotland.

The Voda crest was a sun, with two swords intercrossed. This, I personally thought, was really cool. I had woken up Mason enough to sit at his seat. He didn't say much, and nearly fell asleep again. Rosalie sat straight, and Rachel sat beside her—dressed in her best, with her wild, untamed hair pulled back in a scrunchie.

Only light subjects where touched at dinner, before I smiled at Dimitri—the signal to begin telling them about our coming child.

"I wonder how a fifth Belikov will like this room." Dimitri said looking around. "Or, if they will be interested in the crest, as the Voda's—as much as I hate to say it, are part of their family. Very closely, I might add."

Lissa looked up. "Are you trying to tell us something?"

"On the contrary," Dimitri smiled, "I was only wondering."

She wasn't convinced. "Is Rose having another baby?"

I smiled. "Yes, I am."

Lissa laughed with happiness, and leaned over between our seats to hug me.

"Another Belikov?"

"Of course," Dimitri was smiling. "My Mother had four children. I have two more rounds before I catch up."

"Don't you mean_ I_ have two more rounds?" I asked playfully.

And so the evening worn on in a playful fashion. Laughing, I looked over at Mason, he appeared paler then when we had arrived, and surely it was only a cold? I looked over at Dimitri, who was laughing at something Christian had said. He turned his gaze to me, looking a little confused at my worried gaze. I glanced towards Mason, and then back at him, assessing his son; I could see the same realization light in his eyes.

Lissa saw this, "Do you want me to see if I can heal him, Rose?"

"Um…." I thought fast, my best friend had only healed the injured—healing Dimitri's leg fully when we had arrived back in the USA after the last time we had been in Russia, healing me—she had never healed a sickness. Could she? Well, it was a great time to find out. "Please, Lissa."

She reached out, and touched Mason, a fast sped rainbow of glory spread through the bond, as Lissa preformed her healing. Then, I felt it hit a wall. It wasn't working, Lissa pulled her hand back, the glory fading.

"What… what happened?"

"It didn't work?" Christian asked.

Dimitri looked confused. "How…?"

"I probably can't heal the sick." She said.

"No, Liss, Saint Vladimir could. Remember?" I frowned. "Plus, it wasn't like an unsuccessful healing, you had the strength to do it, you hit a wall."

Dimitri touched my arm. "I think we should get him home, Roza."

I looked across at Mason. "You're right. Lissa… I'm sorry—"

"Don't be." She shook her head, "Take your son home, Rose; I'm sorry I couldn't help."

I smiled briefly at her before scooping Mason up, and heading towards the door, feeling both confused, and scared.

RdRdRdRdR

We arrived home late, Mason was awake, and was carried into the house, and put on the sofa, it was far past Rosalie's bedtime, Dimitri took the sleepily little girl up to her room, to put her to bed. She was adorable, leaning against his chest as he carried her, almost asleep, struggling to keep her eyes open. The sight warmed my heart, as I came back into the room, holding a glass of water for Mason.

I kissed Rosalie's head as I walked past. "Goodnight, sweetie, I love you."

"Love you too, Mama." She murmured,

When they had gone upstairs, I turned to Mason. I set the glass of water on the coffee table, and urged him to sit up a little, placing two pillows under him. I put a blanket over him.

"Don't feel good!" He said, leaning against my chest.

"I know, darling," I picked up the glass, and gently glided it to his lips, he took a sip, "That's my good boy."

It all happened in slow motion: his mouth fell slack, letting its contents of water fall all over him. His muscles lost control, letting the urine they'd been holding spill out, he began thrashing violently, he vomited the water he had just drank all over me, and himself. I was horrified, and switched to autopilot, I tried to hold him down, so he wouldn't hurt himself, or fall of the couch.

"Dimitri!" I cried. "DIMITRI! COME DOWN HERE! HELP!"

I faintly heard his footsteps on the stairs. "Rose, what's—"

He didn't finish the question, he knew. He came by me, helping me hold him down, terror ran hot through my veins, and Dimitri's presence neither comforted nor motivated me. All I knew was that I had to stop this; I had to stop my son from this. It was hurting him.

Suddenly, he just stopped. My son was limp. He lay on the couch, his eyes closed, and his breathing normal.

I looked up at Dimitri; he had already pulled out his cell, and was talking on it.

"Yes, my son just had a seizure—a fit. No, he's never had one before. I don't know. He had been acting a little strange all afternoon. Thank you." He hung up, "An ambulance is on the way, Rose."

I didn't answer; I only held Mason's small hand, the horror of it now froze me. That had been my son that had been my son. He was too young, electricity in the brain wasn't good, it was terrible—it could kill him. I realized I was sobbing uncontrollably. Dimitri wasted no time; he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled the two of us into his embrace.

"Shh… Roza… he's going to be OK… Mason will be OK…" He murmured, "I promise. I love you, everything's going to be fine."

If only he had been right.


	2. You're Something to Die For

Forever Gone, Forever You  
Chapter Two

DIMITRI

I awoke in a cold sweat. It took me a moment to remember what my dream had been. And, when I did, I immediately wished that I hadn't.

_Not that dream again. They are dead. _

My son, Mason…. The beginning of the end, pain shot through my body, a choked sob worked its way out of my throat. I reached over and turned the light on, and then moved to the window. New York City was never quiet. This is why I moved here, I never wanted a moment of silence. I wanted to forget.

_If only I had known._

I closed my eyes, spreading out my hands against the wall. A memory hit me hard.

_I was so angry, it was unbelievable. My fists hit and broke anything they came into contact with. Someone grabbed my arm. I shook them off, and continued to destroy. _

"_Stop!"_

_I ignored her; there was no point to stopping. _

_"Dimitri, stop! You're scaring me! Stop!" She begged, "You're scaring me! STOP!"_

_A photo fell to the floor, and smashed. I watched it, silently, suddenly frozen. My heart was pounding. What had I done? I pushed through the barriers that kept me frozen, and collapsed against a wall. Her arms encircled me from behind, painful sobs racked my body._

"_Shh…shh…" She whispered, _

"_I…I'm sorry," I whispered._

"_Don't be." Rose whispered._

I shook my head violently, and moved away from the wall. I saw my dresser, slowly, I walked across the room, and opened my top drawer, and took out a beautiful wooden box. I gazed at it for a few moments, before I opened it. I reached in, and withdrew the necklace; it was the same necklace I had given Rose as a wedding gift, a necklace identical to the one she had worn on the night we had both given into Victor's lust charm.

Thinking his name caused me pain.

"And the beginning of the world started with that Bastard, Victor Dashkov," I whispered.

One year. One year, five months, and thirteen days since I had last seen her. I couldn't believe I was still living so long after she had died. _Snatched away at half time, the end will be when we meet again_, was what it had said on her tombstone. Mason's had only said, "_Mason Dimitri Belikov, beloved son"_ of course, what was there to say? He had been a child. A wonderful, interested child.

And Victor Dashkov had taken him away from me.

I let the necklace drop back into the box, and shut it once more. I heard footsteps in the hallway before my door creaked open. I turned, Rosalie stood there. She held her teddy in one arm. Her face was red with tears. I crossed the room, and scooped the five-year-old up, holding her tightly to me.

"I miss Mommy," She whispered.

I sat back on the bed, rubbing her back. "I know, sweetheart, I know,"

Rosalie. The reason I had bothered to live through every single tear streaked day in the past year. She had lost her family, her brother, her Mother. It was only us now. I looked down at the beautiful child in my arms. She wiped her beautiful dark eyes on my shirt, and looked up at me.

"Why did Mommy and Mason go?"

"I don't know," I whispered, trying to choke back tears, "But you know what I do know?"

"What?"

"That they both loved you very, very much. And always will,"

_"You've killed Strigoi, and you're nervous about holding your own daughter?"_

"_She's half you, I should be terrified,"_

Remembering anything about Rose hurt, especially that moment, minutes after Rosalie had been born. We were young, and believed that nothing would ever hurt us, we would always be together, and loved. How wrong I had been! My heart rate alternated, and it was all I could do to hold Rosalie tighter, and not reach out, and smash the closest thing. After several moments, I felt Rosalie relax in my arms, as she began to drift off to sleep. I didn't have the heart to take her back to her own room, and only lay her back down on my bed, and curled my body protectively around hers. For hours, I watched her, sleeping, my beautiful daughter, sleeping. I couldn't think of anything more beautiful.

Blinking rapidly, I looked towards the window again, closing my eyes, and listening to the sounds of New York City. It's why I came here, it was never silent. There was always something to focus on in a silence, always something outside to grip, to keep myself from slipping away into really unwanted memories. Sometimes, ones that bore meaning, like the scene in the kitchen, seeped through—but I would never, _never_ let the worst ones seep through. I had to block them every day, but… I didn't want to think what would happen should I take my guard down. I would lose it, I would lose the firm grip I now had on sanity. I couldn't lose that. Rosalie needed me.

I closed my eyes, remembering.

The day after her death, I had asked Heather, a close friend of the family to take Rosalie for a couple of months, just, because I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of her properly alone. Rosalie had been through an ordeal too, and I wasn't ready to support her. I was broken myself, and I needed time to suck it all in again, and put up the walls which had been broken when Rose fell. I travelled the world in those few months, I was trying to find a place far enough away from everyone and everything, in which to find myself.

Those months alone where hard, I had left Heather and Rosalie at home in Baltimore, and travelled to Russia on the first plane I could get. From Moscow, I hitchhiked all the way to France, where I rented out a room in a Hotel near the newer opera building. I would leave early in the morning, and walk the city before many were awake. I wandered up and down the riverbank, and often, at dusk, stood at a bridge, staring down at the dark water, debating whether or not I should jump.

After all, what was there to lose? Rosalie would be taken care of; I knew that, besides, I didn't know if I would ever heal enough to support a child. Behind those waters, I would find my son and wife again. I would be complete again. I would feel happy again. I would not mourn her death for a lifetime, I would be with her. There was nothing to lose. I was going to die soon anyway, if I didn't eat soon. I hadn't eaten much since her death, I didn't have an appetite, and some days, I didn't eat at all.

And, despite the beds being comfortable, I woke early every night, the bedclothes twisted around my body, having just emerged from a nightmare. I was a wreak, I was clean, of course, I went through daily needs (besides eating) blindly every day, I walked, and moved like a live human being. I talked like one. No one who wasn't that close to me could see the haunted look in the depths of my eyes. They all assumed from my age (which, at the time was twenty nine, but, I appeared to be about twenty five) that I'd been out partying with my girlfriend, or fiancé and had gone to bed at four AM, hence the circles under my eyes.

There was nothing about me that could reveal the truth under my pain. No one could see it, it was mine, and mine alone. There was no reason why I shouldn't jump.

But, something always stopped me.

After about a month of being in Paris, I decided that I needed to go back to Russia for awhile. I couldn't be alone forever, for, even if I didn't go back to the USA, I would have to find a job somewhere, and interact with people. I couldn't spend the rest of my life just looking at them. I had to do something again. So, I got the next plane back to Novosibirsk, and was home by the following evening.

I spent the next four months in Novosibirsk, trying to figure out what my next move should be. I still woke often in the night, but, I was becoming numb. Walls where being put up, I knew I hadn't accepted Rose's death, and I knew I never would. Numbness is what allowed me to make the decision to go home again. After all, by then, I was as human as I would ever be again, and I missed Rosalie, and I knew I had a duty there.

So, I went back to the US—determined to spend the rest of my life focusing on my daughter. She was all I had left, and she would get the best there was in life. I would protect her from feeling the kind of pain that haunted my dreams. Rosalie deserved a life of being in a warm bubble, where nothing could go wrong.

A couple of months after I returned home, I moved us up to New York, I couldn't stand the idea of seeing Rose's things everywhere, seeing rooms in which the four of us had laughed and played. Rosalie was back to her normal self—the curtsey of Heather, who had taken the liberty of taking my daughter to a grief consular after she had been expelled from her Day Care for hitting other children. I got a job that paid well, and, I was becoming more human by the day.

Pushing the memories away, I looked again towards the clock, surprised to see that I had been in a daze for over an hour. The clock now read six AM, the same time that I should get up. Pouring the now cold coffee over the sink, I raced towards the bathroom, and took a shower, and then, I tip-toed across the hall, into my bedroom, and dressed, putting on a designer suit.

True, working as a manager of Holiday Inn doesn't pay enough for an apartment in the Upper West Side, nor did it pay enough for everything in my home to be designer. However, Adrian Ivashkov did. Unexpectedly, Adrian had pulled through when I'd moved back home, convincing the royal council that I deserved a large pension for my work for Moroi society, a pension so large that I really didn't have to work—but I did, purely because I knew that I couldn't just sit around the house all day. I had to do something. Memories were for the early morning only. The rest of the day, I was needed. I couldn't just be selfish, and keep it all to myself.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself creeping into Rosalie's room, and opening the blinds. Rich sunlight filled the room, and Rosalie groaned, and pulled the covers over her head.

"Dad…" She moaned, "Go away,"

Ah, ten year old girls. They are so nice in the morning.

"Not a chance," I smiled, "I'm not leaving 'till you're up."

Three minutes of silence passed, and then, Rosalie finally pushed back the covers, and got up. She looked at me accusingly.

"Get out; I have to get dressed,"

I laughed, "Will do, Sunshine, we have to leave in half an hour."

She mumbled something in response; I didn't turn to see what it was.

Half an hour later, we left the apartment, and I hailed a cab. We got in, and rode silently. I looked over at my daughter.

"Is everything alright, Rosalie?" I asked, pushing a piece of hair away from her eyes.

"I'm fine." She said stubbornly.

I tilted my head, looking at her. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Dad."

I bit my lip, as the taxi pulled up to her school. I got out with her, intending to take the subway to work. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Have a good day, I love you, Rosalie."

"You too," She said, before running through the gates, and up the drive into the school. I stood until the door had slammed behind her.

Before I could be left to my thoughts, I turned on my iPod on full blast. Hear Me Now by Framing Hanley screamed into my ears.

_Well, I swear to God we've been down this road before  
The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more  
And the truths that we all try to hide,  
Are so much clearer when it's not our lives  
When we don't face the blame _

_Won't you get on your knees  
Have faith  
Believe  
In this lie with us all._

_Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,  
Well I'm calling out to you,  
Can you hear me now? _

_It's not rebellion when you're selling out to an  
Out of fashion salesman  
Our promising lives, are full of empty promises  
Temptations falling and calling you home again_

The train pulled to a stop. I got on, and finally allowed memories to pour through my mind.

_The mattress wasn't that comfortable, I had to admit, lying back. But, to be honest, I wouldn't change it for the world; I had been born for this. Born for her, any time before her was insignificant compared to what I was feeling. I ran my hand through her hair, and kissed her forehead, barely able to believe that this Goddess loved me. _

_I drew in breath._

"_I love you, Roza," I kissed her again, "I'll always be here for you, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."_

"_And I won't let anything happen to you," She had said, "I love you,"_

Back in the present, I gripped the rail harder, trying not to cry.


	3. But Don't Hold Your Breath

Here it is finally the next chapter to Forever gone, Forever You. Took me long enough but I'm trying to make this just as good as the original author. So I hope I did good in this chapter. For future reference if the chapter is in italics than it's a memory if not than it is the present and everything will be in Dimitri's POV from now on. There is a reason, trust me. Also, to stay in tradition of "Until the Last Rose Dies" all the chapters titles will be lyrics from a song, just on song. "Until the Last Rose Dies" was "Guardian Angel" By: Jumpsuit Apparatus so let's see who can figure out these lyrics (don't cheat now). I'll actually be very surprised if someone figures it out.

Anyway enjoy the chapter, Thomagata

Forever Gone, Forever You

Chapter 3

Dimitri

_She clutched his hand desperately as if she alone could keep him here. But I knew deep down it was fear that gripped my beautiful Roza. Fear of losing our Mason, fear of losing our precious gift. She already lost one Mason, her dearest friend; I knew she wasn't ready to lose another one, our son._

_We sat in the bleak hospital clinging on to hope that I knew not even existed. Mason was sick, that was obvious, his temperature was dangerously high and his breathing seemed ragged and unnatural. We were so sacred. A heart monitor sat by his bed, right now it was level and even but there were moments were it would sporadically spike and grow uneven before returning to its normal pace. It was like my son was fighting for life._

_I sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair on one side of his bed while Rose sat on the other side. We still were in our dinner clothes, not having time to change for we went straight into action as soon as Mason grew noticeably worse. Rosalie was staying with Lissa for the time being. She didn't need to be here. She didn't need to sit in this cold, bleak room with us, watching her brother fight for what little life he had left. Oh dear Lord, save our son._

"_Roza you need to rest." I said looking up at her. She was always usually beautiful even now she was beautiful but it broke my heart to see her eyes brimmed with tears and worry. She was afraid, just like I was, but she was trying so hard not to show it. "You could lie in one of the cots near his bed."_

_She shook her head "No, I can't Dimitri. I have to-" She swallowed for a second trying to keep her mask in place, "I have to stay by his side."_

"_But Rose what about the baby?" She was still pregnant after all, and that made me worried. If she was emotionally stressed and tired that could affect the child's health._

"_And what about Mason?" She snapped, "He's your child too." My frowned deepened, she was just stressed and to tell the truth so was I, she didn't need to snap but I said no more to her. I just watched as she stroked his dark hair lovingly as he slept fighting whatever internal battle there was to fight. Everything was going so well. What happened?_

"_Mr and Mrs. Belikov." A doctor said walking into the room. He was an elder man, a Moroi of course, who looked old and weary from age and probably from being a doctor for many years._

_Instantly Rose shot up from her chair looking at the doctor expectantly. "What's wrong with him? What's happening to him? Are you even doing anything?" She asked anxiously. Typical Rose, wanted to get straight to business._

"_Now Mrs. Belikov this is a time to stay calm. I understand your son is in critical condition-"_

"_Of course he is!" She interrupted her patience breaking, she had more to say but I quickly intervened getting out of my chair and cradling her to my chest combing my hands through her hair like I normally did to calm Rosalie down._

"_Roza calm down," I murmured to her lovingly. "Let the doctor speak, their doing the best that they can. Please love." I didn't tell her everything would be alright, I didn't quite know that for sure myself but nonetheless she calmed in my arms, growing limp and slumping down into her chair._

"_I'm sorry Doctor." I said to him._

"_No worries." He said waving off my apology. "I've seen plenty of mothers go through this. She has every right to be acting like this." I didn't like how he said the last part._

"_So what is wrong with him?" I pressed, my heart beating frantically in my chest._

_The doctor sighed, that wasn't a good sign. He shifted through some folders he was holding shifting his glasses slightly. "To tell the truth Mr and Mrs. Belikov we are not sure what is wrong with your son." What?_

"_What?" Rose shrieked. "You don't know what's wrong? What kind of doctor are you?"_

"_We have done many tests, . It is apparent that he has a fever and is having trouble breathing but as for the cause we are unsure."_

"_So? He has a fever and he can't breathe do at least something about that. Medicine, antibiotics, physical therapy, yoga. I don't give a shit do something." I placed a hand on Rose's shoulder, trying to comfort her._

_He shook his head solemnly. "I'm afraid we can't do that either. My colleagues and I all agree by acting without knowing the source could make it worse. We can't risk that. Especially as someone as young as your son."_

"_So what will happen?" I asked._

"_We don't know. We hope the signs will disappear as fast as they came but that chance is low."_

"_Will he die?"_

"_We don't know."_

_We don't know. From anybody else those words seem like a regular sentence of uncertainty. But from a doctor, it was as if the doctor was already writing Mason's death certificate and all we could do was sit there and wait. And so we did. Neither one of us moved, we hardly talked, we just sat around Mason's bed watching him anxiously, hoping, wishing something would happen._

"_Rose." I said, breaking the silence that had wrapped around, "You need to rest, and don't you dare interrupt me." I stated cutting off her protest, "I understand you're worried about Mason. I'm scared too, but I'm afraid also for our baby, the baby that is relying on you to make him or her healthy. And sitting here with no rest is not fair for him or her. Please rest, you don't have to go home but please, just rest."_

_Rose looked at me blankly and just nodded her head growing slack suddenly but she did not move. Sighing, I stood and walked over to her peeling her hands away from Mason's and gently picked her up. Instantly her arms wrapped around my neck as I carried her over to a cot next to Mason's bed. The sheets crinkled slightly as Rose weight sank into the bed, still limp with exhaustion and hopelessness. I tried to move away from her but she tightened her arms around my neck and held me closer to her, burying her face into my neck, her breathe tickling my skin as she took a deep breath taking in my scent._

"_Dimitri," She murmured into my neck, clutching me closer to her, "Do you believe in miracles?"_

_I smiled into her hair, chuckling slightly, "Of course Roza." I murmured back, "We are a miracle, our children are a miracle. I have no reason to doubt."_

"_Can miracles be taken away?"_

_I was silent, the sound of the Mason's heart beeping behind us, Rose's embrace warm and clinging to me desperately as I leaned over her and clinged just as desperately. The question hanging in the air waiting for an answer as I thought over my words carefully. Could miracles be taken away?_

"_I don't know."_

_It was like that for a week. A whole week of worry and heartache. Rose barely left that room, she hardly slept and she hardly ate, this was tearing her apart as it was for me as well. I eventually went home to see Rosalie, leaving Rose in that bleak hospital room. Rosalie was ecstatic to see me, her little hands clutching to me as I held her. She rambled on and on what she had been doing with Lissa and like a good father I nodded and said the proper things, while in the background I could see Lissa standing there, looking at us with a frown on her face. I had told her what had been happening over the last few days over the phone and she was just as worried as Rose and I. She went over a few times to see Rose hoping to comfort her but it did little good. After a few words with Lissa and Christian I took Rosalie home. Home to an empty house._

"_Where's Mama and Mason?" She had asked when got home her little eyes looking up at me questioningly._

"_Mason's at the hospital right now. He's not feeling well." I told her, moving to make lunch for us, "Mama is with him." Her frown deepened as she followed._

"_When will they be back, I wanna see Mama." She whined._

"_Maybe I'll take you over one day."_

"_How sick is Mason. I thought only the really really sick go to the hospital Papa."_

"_He'll be fine Rosalie. There are doctors to help him." I said, sugar coating my words for her, "Now how about lunch?"_

_From there I didn't take Rosalie to the hospital. I just couldn't allow myself to bring my daughter to see Mason. I could hardly look at him. He wasn't getting worse, no more seizures but he wasn't getting better either. He even opened his eyes a few times and allowed Rose to feed him, which was hard since she was crying so much I actually had to take over about half way through. But Rosalie never came, I always dropped her off at Lissa's much to Rosalie's protest, she wanted her Mama._

_I did eventually get Rose to go home one day, it was hard and had a lot of convincing involved but she went home for a night. So Rosalie was happy about that but it was the only time Rose went home for when she came back the next day she broke down and told me she didn't sleep at all and spent the entire night watching Rosalie, afraid that she too was going to have a seizure. So she stayed at the hospital after that._

_So here I was sitting on my empty bed in our empty house, trying to figure out if this past week was a dream or a nightmare. Surely a nightmare, definitely not reality. How could our Son go from a healthy young boy to a barely conscious, dying boy? It wasn't possible, yet it was my reality._

_So I showered and got dressed for another day at the hospital. I walked to Rosalie's room and saw her playing with her toys already dressed while a pink backpack beside her, probably full of things to entertain her at Lissa's._

"_Are you ready to go to Aunty Lissa's house?" I asked as I kneeled down to give her a kiss on the forehead._

_She looked up and frowned at me liked she did every morning now. "I want to go see Mama and Mason." She said crossing her arms in frustration._

"_Surely you don't want to sit there all day in the Hospital with Mama and I. It's not as fun as Aunty Lissa's place." I said, trying to coax her out of her obsession to go to the hospital with me. It usually worked but it seemed as though it wouldn't work this time._

"_I wanna see Mama and Mason." She stated again, not budging._

_I internally groaned. "Please Rosalie, you wouldn't like going there."_

"_Yes I would." She protested, "Please Papa I'll be a really good girl, I promise. I just miss Mama and Mason."_

_She looked up at me, her eyes that reminded me so much of Rose it hurt. Than I thought that this wasn't easy on her either. Rose was falling apart, I was barely home to take care of her, and she hadn't seen Mason for over a week. She probably thought our family was falling apart._

"_Fine," I sighed, "You can come but you have to be on your best behavior."_

_Instantly her mood brightened giving me a big smile. "Yeah! Thank you Papa I'll be really good."_

_I returned her smile, taking her hand and her backpack; we headed down stairs for a quick breakfast before heading off to the hospital. I called Lissa and told her the change in plans as we drove to the hospital. She thought it was a good idea to bring Rosalie, she thought it might calm Rose a bit to have her daughter there beside her, and she was our first child after all. Our first Miracle. After hanging up I began to think over Lissa's words. Maybe she was right; maybe having Rosalie there would distract Rose a bit. Maybe we could all go home together tonight, be somewhat of a family. Mason would be okay for one night alone, he hadn't improved or disproved for a week. Surely a night alone would be okay. I'll cook Rose's favorite dish…_

_I continued these thoughts all the way to the hospital. The idea of coming home with Rose made me incredibly happy, well as happy as I could be as far as having my son in the hospital. I was worried, oh so worried, but Rose needed to get away from the hospital, she needed to have a proper rest. For her sake, for out babies sake, for our family. I loved that she cared so much for people but sometimes it seemed it was more of a flaw than anything._

_I pulled up to the hospital and parked in my usual spot. I had been coming here for only a week but it seemed like a lifetime. It was all too familiar. Walking in, signing in, passing the same familiar faces, I was in a rut and I couldn't get out, at least not right now. For a moment I was actually glad Rosalie was there with me, holding on to my hand, as we walked up to the hospital entrance. It was something new, and it gave me hope maybe today would be different._

_As usual, I was wrong. We walked into pediatrics I wasn't greeted by the usual bored nurse behind the desk and nurses pushing children in wheelchairs, no, I was greeted with hell. People were running everywhere, shouting orders to one another, gathering papers, calling doctors. It was a cacophony of noise and it was everywhere. Mason._

_I felt Rosalie tightening her hand around mine as I tried walking through the Chaos that was all around me, instantly regretting that I brought her here. I tried to catch the attention of one of the nurses to inquire what was going on but they passed by me like I wasn't there and trust me that is a hard thing to do. But finally I caught a nurse who was sitting by a computer frantically typing something._

"_Excuse me miss." I asked her, watching as she suddenly looked up at me surprised as she didn't know I was standing there._

"_Oh," She said, trying to fix her messy blonde hair, "I'm sorry sir how can I help you?"_

"_What is going on?"_

"_I'm sorry sir I can't tell you un-"_

"_I am my son is Mason Belikov if this has anything to do with him I have every right to know." I snapped._

_Her eyes widened instantly recognizing me, "I'm sorry sir I-I didn't know. It's your son, Mason."_

"_What about him?"_

"_Well he had another seizure and-"_

"_And?"_

"_His heart suddenly stopped."_

_Then I was gone, practically running down the hall as the nurse called after me. But I ignored her everything was in slow motion for me. The people that passed by the words that where be spoken they didn't matter as I quickly made it to that same room. The room I had spend over a week sitting in watching my family slow fall apart, surely life couldn't get any worse._

_Rose was standing right outside the door looking at the wall across from her blankly as if she couldn't believe what was going on. I saw doctors go in and out of Mason's room yelling out orders to each other._

"_He's not breathing_

"_Get the defibrillator."_

"_Where are the charts?"_

"_Hurry we're losing him!"_

"_Mama!" Rosalie suddenly shouted, running to Rose and hugging her around the waist. Rose looked down at our daughter for a moment not even realizing who she was until she bent down and hugged Rosalie tightly crying into her hair._

"_Mama what's wrong with Mason?" Rosalie asked crying herself, but Rose just shook her head crying too much to answer._

_I just watched all this too tortured to do anything. The madness that surrounded us in that hallway filled my senses as I watched the doctors in the room try and try again to bring back my son. Could God take back miracles?_


	4. IMPORTANT READ

IMPORTANT TO READ (AT LEAST READ THE BOTTOM HALF)

Hello my wonderful readers, I know I've been absent for quite awhile haven't I? As usual I must apologize for my absence for you see since my spring break everything has been chaotic and busy. I had the worst Spring Break ever for starters so I was in no mood to write and then when I got back to school I've been so busy. I know some of you out there are probably rolling your eyes and saying things like "That's what they all say" or "no excuse" and so on and so forth. But I'm telling the truth, here let me give you a run down on what I'm currently doing with my life.

One: I take three classes, I know no big deal right? Wrong. Here at my college I take two studio classes and a lecture, all though the lecture isn't too bad the studio classes are the hardest and the most time consuming. It is said that students are suppose to work 20 hours for each class during the week. So 5 hours in class and 15 out of class.

I'm currently taking 3-D design and action analysis. I like to go above and beyond so for 3-D I do the best I can. I just finished making a 18 inch dragon sculpture out of spaghetti and now I'm making a snowy owl wedding veil out of paper. (And it's going to be extreme) For action analysis, I have one of the hardest and best teachers. This guy is the real deal. He was a special effects animator for Disney from Lion King to Brother (I've seen his name in the credits) so he's really hard core and yet so awesome. But by the end of the quarter I have to have at least four sketchbooks filled in order to get an A on my sketchbook assignment (a good chunk of the grade).

On top of that I'm working in my free time (What free time?) on a animation short hosted by a grad student here at school. I'm doing anything major, just cleaning up animation shots, but is extremely time consuming to do.

So that's all school related. On top of that I'm going on and off through depressed stages and is constantly stressed about certain things. I'm sorry I'm hanging my laundry to you guys but I want you to understand how I'm feeling. I love writing in my spare time and I love my stories but I'm going to be putting them on hold for at least till summer. All though I'm going to summer school (that's a whole other story)I'll think I should be less busy because the animation short should be over and usually summer school is more lax.

NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT

I have finally come up with a decent enough plot for my sequel to Secrets in Past and Shadow but I am not going to be doing three stories at one time. So here is YOUR choice. I'm going to place a poll on my profile, you guys get to vote on whether I continue Metamorphosis and do the sequel after or temporarily stop Metamorphosis and start the sequel. It lies in your hands. So go vote. If your guys are lucky I'll amazingly have time to post a chapter before summer comes.

Tata,

Thomagata


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